Cues - Master the Secret Language of Charismatic Communication - Vanessa Van Edwards
Summary
- How body language affects how we view and treat others. Very comprehensive review of body language cues
How the book changed me
- Made me much more conscious of my body language.
Details
- Making a statement into a question is a sign of low confidence
- Do not stop in the middle of sentences
- Likeability is signalled by warmth blended with competence
- Palm up vs Palm down gestures
- Leaning forward shows we are interested in something
- Hide your phone and take your watch off to show full interest in a person
- Your body posture changes how you think
- Turning our head or bodies towards someone shows they have our full attention
- Use gestures, touch or being level with someone to be closer to people
- Looking at someones eyes increases trust and warmth
- When we listen fully the speaker communicates differently
- Tilt your head and nod to show interest in what someone is saying
- Smiling shows we are engaged, and is good for our own brain as well
- Eye crinkles are a sign of engagement and happiness
- Touch releases Oxytocin which makes us feel connected
- Laugh with someone to feel better connected to them
- Chose your seat wisely
- Avoid phubbing - phone snubbing to have better conversations
- It's okay to show feeling when negotiating for a deal
- Avoid verbal fillers like um
- Pause while speaking
- Call attention to the idea rather than to yourself
- Warmth and competence signal different people
- Give compliments that match to peoples competency or warmth
- Reflect someones words back to them to attract them