Use follow up questions to keep a conversation going

Jul 23, 2024 4:21 PM
Jul 23, 2024 6:25 PM

Summary

Details

References

Quotes

1. Introductory
Hello!
Hey, how’s it going?

2. Follow-up
I’m planning a trip to Canada.
Oh, cool. Have you ever been there before?

3. Full switch
I am working at a dry cleaner’s.
What do you like doing for fun?

4. Partial switch
I’m not super outdoorsy, but not opposed to a hike or something once in a while.
Have you been to the beach much in Boston?

5. Mirror
What did you have for breakfast?
I had eggs and fruit. How about you?

6. Rhetorical
Yesterday I followed a marching band around.
Where were they going? It’s a mystery.

Huang found that follow-up questions, which ask for more information about a previous point, are much more appealing than the “switch” questions that change topic, or the “mirror” questions that simply copy what someone has already asked you. The most superficial are the introductory questions—essential social niceties, but which hardly demonstrate a genuine interest in another person.

It is much safer to demonstrate your attention explicitly in the words that you say. Paraphrasing what the other person has said, for example, offers direct proof that you have processed their remark. This is another reason why follow-up questions are so powerful: The details that you include provide the necessary confirmation that you were intent on hearing what they had to say.