Use boundary phrases to define limits in your relationships
Summary
- Boundary phrases allow us to communicate our limits to our friends and family that our space, time and energy are not limitless.
Details
- Some ideas are:
- No
- I need time for myself
- Let's compromise
- I need you to do this first. Then we can do X.
- I cannot agree to this. You have to meet me halfway on this issue
- I need some time to think about this. Let's revisit later after I have thought about it.
- I want you to stop this behavior. I understand you are hurt/upset/angry. Let’s help you calm down, and then we can talk about it.
- I see that you are trying to help me, and I appreciate your concern, but I would like to handle things on my own.
- I prefer not to discuss this topic with you. It makes me feel uncomfortable.
- I am not comfortable doing this right now. Can we figure out a better solution?
- This is not going to work for me.
- I'm not available.
References
Quotes
"In my opinion, boundary setting should be an important part of your self-care routine," says Dr. Parmar. "You are safeguarding yourself from difficult and uncomfortable situations when you learn to communicate your needs effectively and wants to other people. In the long run, it will help manage your stress level better and lead to better physical and emotional health."
Though boundary-setting can seem confrontational, one mental health expert says it can actually help us preserve relationships.
"Boundaries help us establish healthy relationships with others," says Dr. Alisa Ruby Bash, PsyD, LMFT, a Malibu-based therapist. "When we communicate our limits, we can avoid misunderstandings and conflicts. It also helps to create a sense of mutual respect and trust."