Pause while speaking

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Pausing shows both competence and confidence. People confident in their delivery don’t need to fill with fluff. And they know listeners will wait for them to finish their points.

The best kind of pause is a cue I call the breathing pause. This is when you pause and take in a breath. This is important because it gives you something to do in the pause.

Taking a deep breath has many benefits:

If you do accidentally use a verbal filler, don’t worry! Don’t react. Definitely don’t apologize. Just take the breath after the filler. This is a slow way to retrain your brain that it should pause instead of filling.

There’s one more great way to use the power pause—as a way to highlight bad behavior. When someone snaps at you or says something inappropriate, don’t snap back or react reflexively. Take a breathing pause. Let it hang in the air. I’ve found this makes the snapper reflect for a moment. They will often take it back, apologize, or think twice before doing it again.