Learn to be good at accompanying others
Summary
- Accompanying someone means being with them, supporting them, but letting them shine
Details
- In music, accompanying means you are listening to the lead musician, following them, but not usurping the limelight from them
- Show up for someones main events in life
References
Quotes
In normal life, when you’re accompanying someone, you’re signing on to another person’s plan. We’re most familiar with the concept of accompaniment in the world of music. The pianist accompanies the singer. They are partners, making something together, but the accompanist is in the supportive role, subtly working to embellish the beauty of the song and help the singer shine. The accompanist is sensitive to what the singer is doing, begins to get a feel for the experience she is trying to create. Accompaniment is a humble way of being a helpful part of another’s journey, as they go about making their own kind of music.
Finally, a person who is good at accompaniment understands the art of presence. Presence is about showing up. Showing up at weddings and funerals, and especially showing up when somebody is grieving or has been laid off or has suffered some setback or humiliation. When someone is going through a hard time, you don’t need to say some wise thing; you just have to be there, with heightened awareness of what they are experiencing at that moment.
Related
- On what friends bring out in each other - C.S. Lewis
- What is a friend - Just one with whom you dare to be yourself - C. Raymond Beran
- Plug into your friend network by sharing what you need
- Never explain - your friends dont need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway - Elbert Hubbard
- Education and support better than enforcement - Paul Castellani