Constructive feedback focusses on the way forward and not past actions

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Circle back to the ABCs you crafted earlier. You want to deliver your feedback in such a way that it acknowledges the specific behavior (B) and directly segues into the desired change (C), completely putting aside your assumption (A). Remember in chapter 3 when we talked about offering a path forward? The same strategy applies here. The best feedback involves setting aside the past, which can’t be changed, putting a clear, forward-looking, constructive idea on the table, and then opening the floor for your boss’s input, thoughts, or concerns.

Notice how the scripts above depersonalize the situation—focusing on the task or the issue versus the individual. This metaphorically puts you both on the same side of the table instead of pitting you against each other, changing the dynamic from “me versus you” to “us against the problem.” They also stick almost entirely to “I” statements rather than “you” statements and avoid adjectives like “overbearing,” “demanding,” “weak,” and “sensitive,” which can come off as character attacks.