Cherish the friend who tells you that you messed up
Summary
- Friends who sympathise with you and are supportive may not help us change an incorrect view of the situation
- Friends who tell you made a mistake and help you to put it right are rare.
Details
- friends and family who validate our interpretation of a situation are not helping us change our thoughts to alighn with reality.
References
Quotes
Ironically, the people who care the most about chronic victims often unintentionally encourage their blame game. When things don’t go our way, it’s natural to vent to family members or close friends. They’re loving and supportive and have the best intentions for us. They would love to validate our interpretation of the situation, and offer us relief. But when they do that, nothing has changed. Our incorrect view of the world remains intact. They don’t encourage us to re-evaluate our patterns of thinking, feeling, and acting. And if we’re thrust into similar circumstances later on, we’ll likely respond the same way and get the same disappointing results. On the other hand, have you ever had a friend tell you, “You messed up
pretty bad there. How can I help you make this right?” or “Let me tell you the one thing I think is holding you back from getting the results you want”? If you have a friend like that, call them now and thank them. Their presence in your life is a rare gift. Cherish it!