Ask for advice instead of feedback

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Instead of seeking feedback, you’re better off asking for advice. Feedback tends to focus on how well you did last time. Advice shifts attention to how you can do better next time. In experiments, that simple shift is enough to elicit more specific suggestions and more constructive input.[*] Rather than dwelling on what you did wrong, advice guides you toward what you can do right.

Many people fail to benefit from constructive criticism because they
overreact and under-correct. Mellody made a resolution to do the opposite: she told herself that champions adapt. She would go out of her way to show an interest in others and use her absorptive capacity to ask them questions and learn more about them. Just as her coaches had done for her, she would help people grow by dishing out tough love. That became a signature strength. Mellody gained a reputation as the board member who challenged everyone else to think more broadly and deeply, and as the mentor who never hesitated to tell the truth. I’ve seen it firsthand.